What I wish people knew about suicide

“That talking to any person who is caring and open and has even a basic understanding or especially lived experience will be a great start to feeling safer and more positive about the situation you are dealing with now. And of course I want everyone who has that feeling that suicide is the answer, to know that this feeling shall pass and other options will find a way to you.” – John, NSW

“To the suicidal “That there are still people who care about you and that you are taking yourself out of their lives”” – Robert, SA

“That it can happen to anyone and any stage of a person life. Also it takes a community to help and support people out there. So be kind to everyone because you do not know what is going on in a person’s mind.” – Maree, Tas

“It is a symptom of illness, lost connection, struggle and hardship, not a cry for attention.” – Kristen, WA

“That it is a response to deep, unbearable pain, not necessarily poor mental health. A pain that only love and connection can heal.” – Ally, Qld

“That it can happen to anyone at any time and you may never understand the why. What you can understand is that sometimes it feels like the only right choice for that person. That doesn’t invalidate the devastation it causes those left behind nor the need for our society to address the factors that contribute to distress that lead a person to ending their life. It simply means we should respect the right to choose and ensure that as a community we provide the support to families/friends without judgement.” – Hayley, WA

“The hopelessness is overwhelming.” – Mich, WA

“That it can be preventable with timely and empathetic support!” – Sheila

“That we try to take our lives not because of cowardice or weakness but because the pain and sadness is so intense that we see no other choice; it’s the only way to make it all stop.” – Craig, NSW

“Driven by intense suffering and that offering a safe space for honest, compassionate dialogue can make all the difference.” – Jenny, NSW

“That it often stems from a deep and heavy sense of isolation, but compassionate conversations can make a difference. By fostering open dialogues in our communities, we can create a supportive environment where folks feel safe to express their struggles and seek help without fear of judgment. Changing the narrative around suicide prevention starts with breaking the silence and acknowledging that mental suffering is a shared human experience.” – Tess, Vic

“That people think it would be easier for everyone else if they were no longer around. They honestly think that no one will miss them or even notice they are gone.” – Amber, WA

“Impacts arising from the suicide loss of a loved one change over time but are ever present for the bereaved.” – Frances, Qld

“Sad to say the health care system needs experience ED staff in suicide prevention. I believe when people say they are thinking of suicide take them seriously. Even if they look happy, still reach out to them. This was my experience with my 19 year old nephew who took his life.” – anonymous, SA

“It’s so final and it has a life of its own like it’s trying to convince you it’s the right way. Its not. Choose life find help. Live on, beat suicide.” – anonymous, WA

“Saying words like suicide is a cop out or easy way out. It’s not, and it’s quite painful and upsetting hearing this. Very old fashioned thoughts need to change. A lot of the time, the ones who suicide are not selfish. They think everyone will be better without them. So instead of being judgemental, put your hand out, ask do you need to talk? are you ok? Everybody deserves to be loved” – Alexia, Qld

“It can happen to your loved ones. It’s as simple as that. This is not a removed issue. It is close, and personal, and does happen.” – anonymous, Qld

“It’s not always about mental illness!” – Anna, Qld

“Suicidal people don’t kill themselves because they are, weak, selfish, or cowardly. They do it because they see it as the only way to end the pain.” – Craig, NSW

“Early intervention is key. I had reached saturation point, thinking I had no options left. Talk about suicide – do not add to the taboo. Give people options and choices, see their human-ness. Know where and when to find help when needed….. not in a few months… and act when they are reaching out. Acknowledge the bravery to seek help. It is not attention seeking…. it is connection seeking. Be aware of changes – when someone has lost their spark. It is always worth asking – is everything ok and provide feedback as to what you have noticed. Seek connection always.” – Claire, Vic

“How devastating it can be for those of us left behind.” – Ernie, Vic

“That it’s never okay to ask *how* someone suicided.” – Desleigh, NSW

“That it’s not selfish‚ and the space that someone is in when they die by suicide is brought about by the overwhelming darkness of mental illness and the impacts of society on one’s mental health.” – anonymous, NSW

“That you can still experience suicidal thoughts if you have a good job, family and friends that love you and a roof over your head.” – Tammie, ACT

“The grief in the aftermath doesn’t get easier. It’s sharp, crooked and rough to navigate. It’s lifelong because the absence is permanent. We learn to live with it with much resistance.” – Myree, WA

“… that it is not what you think it is.” – Martin, Vic

“That ideation is very prevalent and can effect people anywhere and at anytime. If only folk had the courage to be able to talk about it and make sure everyone knows where to go to get support! You are not alone and there are people who want to help and really care!” – Stacie Mai, WA

“It leaves loved ones with a myriad of emotions and unanswered questions.” – anonymous, NSW

“I wish people knew that suicidal thoughts are normal, and common, yet it often goes unnoticed. Suicidal thoughts and behaviours affect people from all walks of life, often hidden behind silent struggles. The stigma around talking about mental health makes it hard to see, but by raising awareness and showing compassion, we can help make a difference before it is too late.” – anonymous, WA

“That the person does not want to burden others with their thoughts of suicide and/or depression/sadness. That’s why they may not tell anyone.” – Amber, WA

“We’re not hopeless people. We’re ordinary people who are unwell and with the right supports, we can be lifted. Suicide can impact anyone. We need to put it in the light and talk about it. There is no shame.” – anonymous, NSW

“Feeling alone and trapped is a major factor – not having access to basic needs – secure housing, money to live on – people can’t get well when ‘welfare’ is below the poverty line – of course people feel there is no way out, because often times there literally isn’t, and people in the community don’t know how to respond to people in distress, we’re just seen as a disruption or an unwelcome ‘problem’ for others to deal with, but if people in mental distress were actually supported to get well, everyone would benefit.” – Anonymous, WA

“… that it is not a sin, or a crime. It is all about deep, existential angst. Individuals experiencing this highly distressing emotion should be shown compassion …not judgement.” – Cecil, SA

“It is a black hole that anyone can slide into, depression is not a personality flaw, nor is suicide an evil, self centred act.” – Lynaire, Qld

“Being suicidal does not mean that you are broken, bad or wrong. You deserve to live your best life and right now you need to find support. You are not alone even if it feels that way.” – Christian, Tas

“That it isn’t weak and that people who take their own life aren’t selfish. At that moment in time they are being the opposite of selfish, they believe they are doing the people around them a favour. I also wish more people knew that you don’t necessarily need to be a counsellor or trained psychologist to help someone at that critical point. If you have ears and a heart you can do something to help them. A lot of people avoid situations because they feel like they are not equipped to help.” – Mark, NSW

“You don’t need to be ashamed to talk about it.” – Melanie, Vic

“It can happen to anyone. No one is exempt.” – Brittha, NSW

“It’s not a sin. It’s a wrong decision, a short-term solution to sometimes a long-term problem. People choose to end their life to escape the pain, not necessarily meaning or wanting to die. Our people suicide, they don’t commit a crime. PLEASE stop using the word “commit”.” – Juanita, NSW

“The level of despair you have to feel to contemplate it.” – Julie-Ellen, NSW

“That it’s not selfish. It’s not an ‘easy way out’. It’s not a sign of weakness but having been strong for too long.” – anonymous, NSW

“That asking about whether someone is having suicidal thoughts won’t put the thought into someone’s mind.” – Melissa, Vic

“That bereavement can be a solo and lonely journey, but it’s filled with many of griefs gifts.” – Jenna, Vic

“That my brain was lying to me. That my family would never be better off without me. That dark days do come to pass. That the pain ends. It can return but then you can be better equipped at trusting in yourself to get through this. I have learned to focus even on enjoying that first sip of coffee is worth hanging onto.” – Laura, Qld

“That it is not a cowards way out, it is just the only option left for the person who is struggling.” – Amber, W

“What I wish people knew about suicide is…….that it is real and not something you want to experience yourself or put your loved ones through..” – Fairlo, Vic

“Suicidal thoughts can happen to anyone. We need to normalise talking about our experiences so that it becomes easier for people to ask whether someone is thinking about suicide.” – anonymous, NSW

“It’s a choice.” – anonymous, SA

“That it might feel like your only option… Like you have been here before and you have no other choice but you haven’t met me and I care about you and I would tell you if you stayed. I would hold your hand and I would say we can be in this together because there are people who see you…. people like me so please don’t go….find me… Let me find you.” – Nicole, QLD

“It doesn’t mean you are selfish. In fact, it can sometimes mean you care too much.” – anonymous, Vic

“The future effect the death has on families, sole parent survival (if it was a spouse), kids left without a parent, mental health issues for those left in its wake, and future generations never knowing the deceased, ie grand kids not knowing a grand-parent who suicided, the ripple effects go on & on. Lot more support now thankfully than there was 24yrs ago” – Lianne, SA

“It is not just “taking the easy way out.” – anonymous, WA

“What I wish people knew about suicide is that it is a silent killer. People are struggling every day to speak up about what is going on for them and I really think it’s the stigma around suicide. No one truly ever understands what someone is going through, but this is why we need more mental health support groups so that people start to learn no matter what gender you are, it is ok not to be ok.” – anonymous, SA