What a journey it has been over the last 10 years; thankfully I am now in a secure place where I can reflect on, and describe, difficult times associated with my mental health, in the process reaching out to other affected people, to give them, perspective and support.
In sharing my story, I have been able to describe my, lived experience,
in having suicidal thoughts.
With proper, professional treatment, I have recovered.
It has been an exercise in self-care, where upon I needed to de –stress my life and retain an interest in everyday things. And yes, to maintain perspective and balance in my own life.
With my experiences in life … circumstances from my childhood, farming and a flyin/flyout background, I am very aware of the effects those work scenarios have on our decision making, …and wellbeing. Childhood traumas can cause serious health problems in our mature years. In any event it’s important to be aware of any anxiety and stress and be prepared to get help!!
So it has been that journey of self-discovery and recovery, for myself, which has made me aware of similar debilitating issues in other people. Damaging stigmas for instance, which create negative thoughts, can be a very real part of most recoveries. And now, in doing presentations, which I am privileged to do, I am able to reach out to the broader community, in doing so, reducing the stigmas I mentioned, but also encouraging people to listen to, and further discuss particular issues.
People also need to know that there is help out there with the likes of Lifeline and Beyond Blue, your doctor, …. as well as your friends. You are a good person, so be kind to yourself … and have pride in yourself.
I’d like to share a poem which I wrote some time ago after completing what turned out to be an emotional therapy course. It was time for me to return home; to finally leave people with whom I shared life stories … and the special emotions.
Saturday following Closure
As I lie here this morning, with feelings exposed
Awakening and loving I realise that this is the time for myself
I cannot be there for anyone else
I struggle to realise
I’ve come from a place,
to where I am now
My feelings exquisite
all touchy and bare
A fire in the hearth
I sit by its side and the shadows play over my feelings and soul
I go in there further, and look to my thoughts
For the moment … I simply reflect
on the times we have had…
The highs and the lows
my tears run free
Of poignant reminders
yes those things that we shared!
I savour the moment and think of you now
we’ll gather once more, together again
For this moment
the best friends that I have
For you see me …. and know who I am
But now it’s time to move on …
my plane will be waiting, and the car is warmed up
My heart is unfolding
as I think of the people, waiting for me
However, before that, I want you to know
that no matter how distant
no matter how far
A small part of my soul remains with my friends
In concert somewhere
To soar and to fly
To mingle and laugh
To hug and recall
But for now
It is time …to move on …